Countdown begins

Tomorrow is the first day of October.  18 more days to go until I turn another year older. As I am used to, I usually look back at the past year and try to reflect how I have grown/matured over the year. 

A year ago, around this time, I was already unemployed.  I resigned from my job August 31, 2007. Since then until for about nine months, I had no job.  Up to now, I am still in awe on how I survived.  Countless times I have said that I relied much on people’s generosity and ultimately God’s providence for me. 

Just out of curiousity, I did some financial analysis on how much i “lost” from pursuing this vocation, simply put, how much it cost me to leave my job to pursue my calling.  I calculated all the benefits I used to enjoy from my previous job (including my salary, annual incentives, bonuses, allowances, etc. but all with “esesssss”) and projected my YTD losses (for period September 2007 to September 2008) close to P1.3MM (which means if I have not resigned I would have earned or benefited this much!) Afterwhich, I also calculated the total expenses I incurred (still covering the same period)  which translate to P.4MM.  Thus, if you add my YTD losses plus my YTD expenses, it cost me close to P1.7MM just to pursue this vocation!  Of course, there were some gains from the generosity I received from people and during the last four months from my salary.  YTD, I have gained close to P.23MM (Although this may seem too small compared to what it cost me, it is still amazing that I have gained this much even considering that I have no job for nine months!  Bulk of which came really from people’s generous hearts.) 

Finance-wise, it would really seem that I am losing and not gaining from the decision I made.  And yet, there is more to it than money/financial.  I also tried to look at what else I gained from pursuing this call.  First, I counted to-date that I have gained 140 close acquaintances (this does not include yet the one-time or two-time acquaintance I’ve met).  I doubt if I could gain this much if I were still with my previous employer or if I were still working on a corporate job .  Time-wise, I enjoyed a total of 240 free-days for myself, which I was free to spend anyway I want: 11 days of which were spent in a retreat, 4 days of which were spent in Bohol, 50 days of which were spent doing school work, and practically, 175 days of which were spent spontaneously!  Knowledge-wise, I spent 336 hours knowing God: 42 hours on revelation-faith, 42 hours on Christian worship, 42 hours on the cultural and historical background of the New Testament, 42 hours on Lonergan’s Method in Theology, 42 hours on Moral Theology, 42 hours on Scripture,Tradition and Magisterium, 42 hours on Christology and 42 hours on Trinity.

So you see, when you look at the numbers, it surely cost me a lot to pursue this desire to deepen my knowledge of God, enrich my spirituality, and promote the good news.  Yet, the good news is, I gained so much more than it cost me! (and so I’m not complaining :))

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