The State of “In-between”

When one speak of state of life, there are only three states that one can think of: Marriage Life, Religious Life, and Single Blessedness.  The first one is for those who are invited to a life of holiness by building up families grounded on Christian and Kingdom values. The second state is for those who are courageous to submit to the three vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Lastly, the third is for those who have resolved in themselves that they would be happier and more at peace being single and practicing the virtue of chastity for the glory of God.  Yet I wonder, what state of life would most people belong in if they are in the state of “in-between”.  In between being single and being married. They are not in a relationship, yet they are still hopeful that one day they will find the person with whom they would like to spend the rest of their lives. This is the state I find myself in.  And I know most of my friends can resonate and relate that yes, this is the state they also find themselves in.

This is a “meantime” state.  It is a state because it is where we find ourselves in right now. In our present state, current state, we know religious life is not for us, we know that single blessedness is not yet that attractive for us. In our present state, we know that we would be most fully alive if we have someone, if we can express love with somebody and feel love as well concretely from someone. And thinking about spending the rest of our lives with this person gives us a brief experience of joy and fulfillment.

This is the state most of us find ourselves in.  In this state, what then would be the invitation for us? I believe the invitation is to surrender to God’s time and ways. The invitation is to trust that indeed God knows what our desires are and ultimately, he would want to make us happy and fulfill these desires in his time, through his ways.  The state of “in-between” is a period of waiting. Waiting for God to fulfill his promise to us.  But we do not just wait passively.  In our present state we can already find meaning, purpose and happiness in what we are doing.  We know that as we are now, we are already happy. Happy serving God, happy following his will, happy experiencing his love for us. This meantime state already demands commitment from us.  Commitment to be instrument of God’s love, commitment to be source of hope to others, and commitment to keep the faith and trust in Him.

In this state, I am already at peace, I am already happy. There is already a decision to wait…wait for God. The waiting may take long or take me by surprise but the invitation is there:”Just trust me,” says God.

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